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When I was much younger, one of my favorite
verses of the Bible came from the book of James:
“…be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to
anger.”, James 1:19
There are also countless
Proverbs in the Old Testament regarding taking
care about what you say. Here’s one example:
“When there are many words, transgression is
unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is
wise”, Proverbs 10:19
Perhaps we could even
modify St. Francis’ prayer and simplify it…
“Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace”…by
keeping my mouth shut. When I was younger, a
friend of mine gave me a copy of Dale Carnegie’s
How to Win Friends and Influence People, in
which Carnegie stresses that you can’t win an
argument and to never get into one. More good
advice about when to say what and when to say
nothing at all. I’d like to think these words of
wisdom helped me in some degree along life’s
path, but even today I really get this one wrong
quite often. It is particularly difficult in
Carnegie’s argument situation, because there all
type of people and events which lead us by the
nose to say the wrong thing. But, of course, we
all manage to say the wrong thing even when not
tempted by argument or confrontation. Many
people choose to couch words that should never
be spoken in the framework of joking, sarcasm or
some other witty way of getting their improper
meaning across. What a poor excuse for hurting
someone with your words that have the same
damage. But this is an absolutely critical thing
to get right because this is where truly loving
others *O* actually begins. We encounter people
all day long and interact with them. If we
choose to start by taking great care with the
tongue, we take a great leap forward in loving
others. People are greatly affected by what we
say because the tongue is perhaps the most
powerful tool we possess. We can choose to use
it for good or for bad. My wife is much better
at this than I. She has always said that once
you say it, it’s done. It’s better to think it
and not say it. She certainly is right about
that. You can make a conscious choice today to
take more care in what you say. It can be a
first step to really love others. You won’t get
it right all the time, but by keeping the idea
in front of you it can make a difference.
Perhaps by writing the modified prayer of St.
Francis or finding our own proverb about
watching the tongue, and taping it in a special
place we visit each day, we can better manage
that tongue of ours. |